How long does it take to make friends in Bern?

In our experience it takes several tries over a few months, not a single evening. People who stop after two attempts usually give up right before it starts to feel familiar.

Do I need to speak Bernese German to fit in?

No. Many events run in English or switch as soon as someone does not speak German. There are also formats like the Berndeutsch Conversation Group if you want to learn the language on purpose.

Is it harder as an expat than for someone moving from elsewhere in Switzerland?

Both start in a similar place, with no circle of friends here yet. The difference is mostly language, not the social starting point. English speaking events are now well represented in Bern.

Is one welcome event enough?

Rarely. A single evening gives you faces, not friendships. Only repeat visits turn a face into a person who knows you.

Where in Bern am I most likely to find a group when I am new?

Most likely where new people are expressly expected and the event comes back every week or every two weeks: language tandems, regulars tables and open game nights work better for this than a single big party, because you do not have to break into an existing group.

New in Bern, how to make friends

The first weeks in a new city are the easy part. Work, a flat, paperwork, all of that can be ticked off a list. A circle of friends cannot, and that is where most people are still stuck three months after the move.

☕ Rather one on one? Meet someone ↓

People sit outside at tables under string lights in the evening, talking in small groups.

Why Bern can feel closed

Bern is a city with little turnover. Many people have lived here since childhood or since university, and their circle of friends has grown over ten or twenty years and simply has no free seat left. It is not rejection, it is just full. This hits people from abroad and people moving from another Swiss city alike.

That means the usual advice barely works. "Just talk to people" does not help much when the people you approach already have a full calendar and a fixed circle. What works instead are places where everyone is in the same boat, where newcomers meet and nobody has to break open an existing group.

What actually helps in the first weeks

Pick something weekly, not one big welcome event

A single big event gives you many new faces, but rarely a follow up. A weekly meetup puts you at the same table four times in two months, and that is the difference between an acquaintance and a friend.

Go where others are new too

Events aimed at people who just arrived have one big advantage: nobody there already has a full circle of friends. Everyone is equally open because everyone is equally new.

Use English early if your German is not there yet

Do not wait until your German is good enough to make friends. There are plenty of meetups in Bern that run in English or in both languages, so you lose no time.

Keep going, even if the first month was thin

Most people who say Bern is impossible after three months stopped after their second try. A circle of friends in a new city takes three to six months to build, not three weeks.

Regular events in Bern, live from our list

This is not a one time welcome event, but a cut of what is happening in Bern on a regular basis. All of them are open to new faces, most are free, and you can go alone.

Let's talk videogames Friday 23 October, 18:00 · Bahnhofplatz 2, 3011 Bern
☕🥂
New in the app
Grab a coffee with someone in Bern

Tell us who you'd like to meet. We introduce you to one person in Bern, and the two of you meet for a coffee or a drink.
Meet someone
Functional Group Training Friday 23 October, 18:30 · Turnhalle Marzili, Brückenstrasse 71, 3005 Bern
Fitness und Spiel für alle at Turnhalle Marzili Friday 23 October, 18:30 · Brückenstrasse 71, 3005 Bern
Strategie-Spiele at Villa Stucki Friday 23 October, 19:00 · Villa Stucki, Ahorn room (1st floor), Seftigenstrasse 11, 3007 Bern
Connect & Cheers 🥂 Friday 23 October, 20:00 · Bern
Berndeutsch Conversation Group 🇨🇭 Saturday 24 October, 18:00 · Bern

What we do

Connect Bern runs regular events in Bern, explicitly for people who are just arriving or do not have a fixed circle in the city yet. Formats like Connect & Cheers or Cowork Coffee & Connect run on a regular basis, you can come alone, and part of them run in English so language is no hurdle at the start. We also list what other groups and organisers put on in Bern, so you can see in one place what is really on this week instead of piecing it together from a dozen Facebook groups.

See the next dates in Bern

Questions

How long does it take to make friends in Bern?: In our experience it takes several tries over a few months, not a single evening. People who stop after two attempts usually give up right before it starts to feel familiar.
Do I need to speak Bernese German to fit in?: No. Many events run in English or switch as soon as someone does not speak German. There are also formats like the Berndeutsch Conversation Group if you want to learn the language on purpose.
Is it harder as an expat than for someone moving from elsewhere in Switzerland?: Both start in a similar place, with no circle of friends here yet. The difference is mostly language, not the social starting point. English speaking events are now well represented in Bern.
Is one welcome event enough?: Rarely. A single evening gives you faces, not friendships. Only repeat visits turn a face into a person who knows you.
Where in Bern am I most likely to find a group when I am new?: Most likely where new people are expressly expected and the event comes back every week or every two weeks: language tandems, regulars tables and open game nights work better for this than a single big party, because you do not have to break into an existing group.